What Is It About Music?

I love it and I hate it all at the same time. I love listening and I hate listening. I like playing it and I most definitely hate it. Why?!!!

When I was young it was nearly impossible to tear me away from it. I wanted so badly to learn and be a good player. It lasted into my young adulthood. I think I began to lose love for it in my 40’s, but I can’t think of anything which would have been a good enough reason for me to lose interest in something I had loved for so long.

I thought the love was coming back in 2016. I bought new instruments. I started practicing, but how easily distracted I became with other stuff. When I was in my 20’s that never would have happened.

Why am I not driven anymore? I really don’t know. Why does it have to feel so forced? There is no joy! I don’t know what to do. Even when I think I’m getting better.. I don’t know. Maybe I should just drop it. But then I’ll just want to pick it up again later.

I hate music! I love music?!!!

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