Discouraged

I was not able to play at all today because of the tingling in my hands. Mostly my right hand. It was really frustrating. Every time I feel like I’m moving forward with anything in my life something happens to mess it up. Carpal tunnel was never an issue until I decided I was going to start playing the saxophone again.

It never happened in the 20 years that I was in the navy. Now in under 2 years of my return to playing carpal tunnel is such an issue that I can’t play. Sometimes I think I’m simply destined to fail.

I have scheduled an appointment with the doctor. I’m not looking forward to another surgery. It seems that every time I have one something new pops ups. The last surgery I had was my neck because of pain. It was after that that the carpal tunnel symptoms began to show up. My life is really irritating. I am mostly disappointed, maybe even depressed.

If I can’t even play music what in the hell is life for?

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